Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

I imagine God to be like my father. My father was always the voice of certainty in my life. Certainty in the wisdom, certainty in the path, certainty always in God. For me God is certainty in everything. Certainty that everything is good and everything is God.

Love is not weakness. It is strong. Only the sacrament of marriage can contain it.

But I like not these great success of yours; for I know how jealous are the gods.

A structure becomes architectural, and not sculptural, when its elements no longer have their justification in nature.

I get up in the morning looking for an adventure.

The idea of having a steady job is appealing.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.

Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

If you have a harem of 40 women, you never get to know any of them very well.

My parents used to throw great New Year's Eve parties. They invited such an eclectic mix of showbiz people. All those cool people were always hanging out at our apartment.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

If you think Independence Day is America's defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down.

Until you have a son of your own... you will never know the joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son.

My father used to say that it's never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, 'You never know what you can accomplish until you try.'

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

That's the way I got along in life. I don't ever remember being particularly jealous of anybody, because I figured if I can't do it myself, I don't deserve to get it.

Jealousy is the fear or apprehension of superiority: envy our uneasiness under it.

What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.